Have you ever felt like you were stuck in time? Trapped inside a frozen ice box of now and desperately scraping from the inside to get out to later? You just don't know which direction you'd rather be going--you're overly anxious for your future, yet still nostalgic for your past.
I think (and yes, this is theory #132), that this may be the cause of my emotional instability and indecisiveness. I'm caught in a waiting room where it's never my turn, stuck in a purgatory brought to earth especially for me, racing to win the game of Life but hesitating whenever it's my turn to roll the dice. I'm swinging on the swings in the playground of my dreams while I build the picket fence around my ideal red-brick house. I'm wavering between leaping forward or turning around and running back.
How long will these clashing desires continue to plague me? Do I have the strength to make the right decision? Which path is easier anyways, when my choices include a mundane life of no challenge, or an unknown future of potentially overly-challenging learning hurdles? Or will I stay stuck in this insufferable limbo of fluctuation forever--essentially spending the rest of my life painfully deciding how to avoid the most pain?
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